The Road to Southend

No need for this, the west coast is complete  

Though some might say ‘twas a bit of a cheat

So we’re back for more

Pedalling the shore

Cause Scotland in May is a treat

The drive to Loch Fyne’s a long way

Old stories pass the time of day

The girls just squawk

At my funny walk

Which relieves cramp I’ve got on the way

While my muscles are still in spasm

I suspend the usual sarcasm

Till we hear when Aileen 

First saw Springsteen  

And he bettered every previous orgasm.

To the Starfish as soon as we’re able

It serves just what it says on the label 

When I try to sup

From an upturned cup

There’s water all over the table.

The Mull of Kintyre looks bleak

As we pedal from west to east

But it’s sunnier and drier 

And there’s much to admire

If it’s wilderness & quiet you seek

We turn right at the loch, then into a shock 

Of primroses and bluebells galore 

The cattle are grazing, the gorse is amazing 

And we stop for a break wanting more.

The Blackbird has a welcoming rhyme 

On a board right next to the pelmet

We enjoy some quiet time

Till Sara thanks Den for his helmet.

Up and down, up and down, 

Along the loch we went

I’m sick of all this climbing 

Then a sign says 16%.

We pedal up, we freewheel down

All the way to Campbeltown,

I don’t care about the whisky

How does electrolyte sound?

The road’s ablaze with colour

All the flowers have bloomed together 

Rhododendrons add to the splendour 

And we give praise for the un-Scottish weather.

The road peters out in Southend

A fifties cafe before the bend

The cakes are whoppers

Real heart-stoppers

If cardiac arrest is what you intend.

Tarbert