The Road to Falmouth

Today’s route is “Harbours & Hills”

The playlist has plenty of frills

You’re supposed to understand 

How these tours are often planned 

And how we settle the bills

Peter Skellern’s house, Daphne De Maurier’s pitch

Ralph McTell’s too, said the snitch

The route’s been designed 

With the homes in mind

Of the slightly famous and rich

We find the Lost Gardens of Heligan 

Where Steve starts a cafe shenanigan

Then up and down to Gorran

And the same to Portholland

The switchbacks are worse than Oblivion 

Now Ian Dury lived by this sea 

In war-time Mevagissey

Our conversations

Turn to EU relations

And the new deal which seem a bit fishy 

In Portloe we will lunch at the Ship

The Lugger is passed at a clip

Come back, says Will

But we’ve gone up the hill

For substandard fish fingers and chips

As we get to St Mawes we’re chary

That there won’t be room on the ferry

When there’s places for us

We lead a frog’s chorus

As fellow travellers have to fake merry

With a tyre and a derailleur astray

The cycle shop is forced to delay

One fixed for a price

The other left to advice 

Before tapas caps off a great day.