The Road to St Agnes

Last night in the Mousehole deli

Angel served food that was heavenly

Then off to the Legion

Only place in the region 

With the football on the telly

We settle the betting list

No penalties taken or missed

No Luke Shaw fire

No goals from Maguire

And Mount didn’t get an assist 

Marconi made the first US call

From Porthcurno, which we reach at a crawl

With modern tech

You can phone home from Tibet

But round here there’s no signal at all

At Gurnard’s Head we take our first break

Which feels like a serious mistake 

We’re 10 miles past

Where Steve first asked

And wait for chips because there’s no cake

“Pirates and Parrots” is the day’s theme

It’s hard to make sense of this meme

But we left from Penzance

And in Hayle there’s a chance

We’ll see creatures of red, gold and green

When we get there Steve jumps on a train

He’s had it with exhausting terrain 

So we make no mark 

On Paradise Park

And head for the coast again

Mark’s route from Portreath takes a twist

A miner’s track is hard to resist

Superior cruising

But posterior bruising

As Skinners Bottom is narrowly missed.

Fowey